Prayer Revisited

As a child I was taught that prayer was essential to salvation. You needed to spend at least 30 minutes praying every day in order for it to count. When asked “why pray?” our elders told us that it was opening communication between yourself and God. The analogy most often presented was the phone call. If you have a friend, and you never call them, your friendship will break down. You need to call God daily, or he will basically forget about you and move on.

Then there was the technique of prayer. In our church community it meant finding a private place to pray. If you were in a public place, you knelt at a pew or the altar and buried your head in your arms. If you were at home you found a quiet room, shut the door, and still found a place to kneel or laid on the floor with your face in the carpet. Generally you started with repentance and cleansing your heart. Quoting the Psalms was very common at this time. It was a purging of the effect of the world on your heart and mind. Then you moved on to thanksgiving. Thanking God for everything and everyone you could think of. Next was prayer for the lost. Every “backslider”, every sinner you knew by name, you prayed until tears of sorrow fell for the sinful state of their heart. Most importantly was ensuring you cried hard and spoke in tongues. A “good pray” wasn’t good unless those two things happened.

“Praying through” was different though. This was a public proving of your salvation, and one usually started out kneeling for the private repentance part, and then stood with arms raised, usually with a crowd of friends holding your arms up for you, and you prayed publicly so everyone could witness you speaking in tongues, evidence that you still had the Holy Spirit. Public prayer included telling God you loved him, and thanking and praising him for everything he’s done in your life.

Another common teaching was the idea that prayer is powerful and through prayer we could change things. We could move mountains. We could alter the course of our life. We could heal people. We could cast demons out.

Everything I’ve ever known or believed about prayer and God has been challenged over the last 10 years. Prayer is no longer a place or a time to me. It’s a state of heart. It’s a constant communion with God. When I get up in the morning, the choice to be kind and thoughtful to my family comes from a place of worship for God. When I give out of my own need, or make a difficult moral decision, it comes from a place of relationship with God. My communion with God doesn’t alter God’s choices, he has already made them all, it alters mine.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (New International Version) Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

We don’t need to “pray through” or repent every day. I am confident in my relationship with God, it’s not something I question daily, as I was taught to when I was growing up. I accept and rejoice in his sin-covering blood over my life. There is a time for repentance, and that is when I first came to God as a sinner who was not in relationship with God. That happened when I was 6 years old. I no longer have need of repentance unless I make  the choice to break communion with God and turn my back on him. That will never happen.

When I have harbored hate in my heart for someone I approach God, not for forgiveness because he already forgave me of everything past, present and future, but for help in overcoming this present challenge in my life. I don’t have to beg and cry, I just have to come to him with an open heart and mind, and in response to my faith he changes my heart.

I no longer question my salvation when I face sin in my life. I know God is bigger than my weaknesses and temptations, and because I’m in constant communion in every aspect of my life, not just 30 minutes of prayer every day, or “praying through” periodically, he is constantly changing my heart and mind before I even know what to ask of him.

As a parent, I am in constant communion with my son. I am always guiding and teaching, and showing him how to live in a way that is responsible, respectful, and moral. I would be guilty of neglect if I only spoke to him 30 minutes a day. Even when he away from me at school I am checking in with his teachers regularly, ensuring he’s not being bullied, and watching out for his welfare. I trust he will take what I’ve taught him and do his best. When he messes up, I don’t want him to feel like he has to throw himself at my feet and wail and cry and beg me to give him another chance. I want him to come to me in confidence that he is my son and I am his mother, and know that I love him and will help him deal with what he has done, and make it right. I don’t punish him for his mistakes or failures, I show him grace and love, and give him the tools, resources and confidence to do better next time.

God is my Father, and we have that same type of relationship. He is always checking up on me, speaking to my heart, and giving me guidance throughout my day. He trusts that I will do my best, and when I mess up he invites me to come to him for help, holds me close in his loving arms, and gently guides me through his Word. I am comforted by his love. He doesn’t require or want my tears nor does he want me begging for forgiveness. He wants me to stand confident in his grace, and know that I am his child and he gives me the resources, strength, and tools to live according to his will.

Outside of my constant communion with God I still pray for healing, guidance, comfort, direction, spiritual rejuvenation, my friends, and family. The difference now is the confidence I have in approaching God. I believe I’m heard in the same way I listen to my own son, and I no longer carry an attitude of pleading or penance when I pray. My salvation is not found through prayer, or anything else I do, for that matter – it is found in God’s grace. Maybe my prayers aren’t always answered the way I expect, but I have faith that God knows and does what is best for me and my family.

Children’s Bible Lesson: Samson Had a Purpose

As a family we’ve committed to teaching our son about God through weekly Sunday Bible lessons in our home. Our son really looks forward to the lessons and crafts each week, and we are excited to be the ones nurturing his hunger to know God.

Our lesson this week is about Samson and Delilah and is found in Judges, chapter 13 and 16.

I am not interested in rewriting new lesson plans, so here is a link to the lesson plan we used:

Samson & Delilah – includes story, crafts, and teacher’s lesson plan. We did the Samson and Delilah puppet craft.

God made each of us for a reason too.  He made each of you exactly how he wanted, and remember God doesn’t make mistakes.  You have the family you do because that’s who God wanted you to be with.  You live where you do because that’s where God put you.  Your life might not be perfect but he wants you to learn and grow with what you have.

Devotional Study – Isaiah 65-66, 1 Timothy 2

Recently I took a break from my favorite parenting forum because it was really time-sucking my life away. Some of my goals for my 3 month break are (and in this order):

1.Spend time reconnecting with God.

2. Spend time reconnecting with my family and friends.

3. Spend time building and growing my new business.

4. Start exercising regularly.

So, in the interest of Goal 1, I’m starting a new series of daily devotionals. I may not share my devotional every day, depending on my schedule, but ideally I would like this to become a regular thing.

Feel free to follow along, and share your thoughts. I’m following the 1 year OT/NT Bible reading plan if you’d like to read along online. I’ve decided to do a short “interview” to help me get the ball rolling and give me somewhere to start. Feel free to answer the questions for yourself in the comments section.

What verse(s) really stood out to you today and why?

⁹ Do I bring to the moment of birth
and not give delivery?” says the LORD.
“Do I close up the womb
when I bring to delivery?” says your God. (Isaiah)

When I went into labor with my son I was in a very difficult place emotionally. My xh had abadoned me when I was 3 months pregnant. I was living in my parent’s basement, and very unhappy with life. Labor went on for over 100 hours. I was having contractions without any relief for 4 days. This verse brings up the memory of those hours of labor, wondering if I would be the first one to go into labor and never deliver. Yet… my womb was opened and the most amazing gift of my life was born – my son.

¹³ As a mother comforts her child,
so will I comfort you;
and you will be comforted over Jerusalem.” (Isaiah)

Think about this, “As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you;” That warm embrace. That soft breast and sweet nourishment. That complete vulnerability and trust; peace in knowing your mom is handling it for you and you will no longer feel alone, hungry, or soiled. I don’t think there’s any sweeter comfort than that of being held in your loving mom’s comforting arms.

What verse(s) do you need further clarification on?

¹¹A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. ¹²I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man; she must be silent. ¹³For Adam was formed first, then Eve. ¹⁴And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. ¹⁵But women^[a] will be saved^[b] through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety. (1 Timothy)

I don’t understand the connection between teaching, authority, the first sin, and salvation through childbearing. I certainly need clarification on this one! The church I was raised in took this in a literal sense, that women may not be pastors, yet I have a woman pastor who I know is called by God to be pastor and teacher and in a place of authority. How to reconcile this verse with the evidence of something that seems to contradict?

What verse(s) bothered you the most and why?

⁶ “See, it stands written before me:
I will not keep silent but will pay back in full;
I will pay it back into their laps-     ⁷ both your sins and the sins of your fathers,”
says the LORD.”

The idea of paying for a sin that you did not commit, and is your responsibility merely because of your bloodline (which you did not choose) is one I’ve struggled with many times. As I was writing this, it occurred to me that this could be a foreshadowing of Christ taking on the sin of the whole world, and the unfairness of him paying the price for sins he never committed.

What is your prayer for today?

My prayer today is that my son will do well on his spelling test and be protected while he’s out of my care and at school. I pray for my husband that he will have a great day at work, that our financial needs will be met, and his sore shoulder will be pain-free today.

I pray that I will have an open heart to grow and change and be formed by God’s hand. I accept, with a heart overflowing with gratitude, that my sin is redeemed through the grace of God. I ask for comfort regarding my frustration with my health, and ask for complete healing in my body. I ask that the inflammation be removed from my entire body, and that health and vitality will be made evident.

I pray for the family of Mary A. that her 10 children and husband will be comforted in this time of great sorrow, and understanding of the purpose of her death will be revealed to her family and those who were closest to her. Maybe they be comforted with the knowledge that she is with Christ and no longer in pain, and has found healing in New Life.

In Jesus name. Amen.

Organic Faith

I rarely talk about my Faith on this blog, but will be writing more as we ease out of gardening season into winter.

My relationship with “church” has changed a lot over the years. I was raised in an ultra-conservative cult-like church community. I say cult because it had a lot of characteristics of a cult. Inclusive, isolation from the rest of the world, rules and regulations enforced by the church leaders, corporal punishment (at least until it was made illegal in our province and the private school affiliated with the church stopped strapping), and a man in leadership with way too much power. Regardless of the negative aspects of being raised in this type of community, I was able to develop a personal relationship with God in those years, which has carried me through some pretty intense experiences in my life.

My parents became members of the cult community when I was 5 years old. I won’t go into all the grisly details cause I’m saving that for the book I’m writing, but I was kicked out of the community at the age of 23. From there my Organic Faith experience truly started.

I started from scratch. The Holy Bible. I started reading the New Testament without the cult filter. Wow! What an eye opener. I attended churches within the same denomination for the first few years because I SO brainwashed that I believed that was only denomination that had salvation truth.

As I delved further into the Bible, reading it without the filter, the double standard of this denomination really started to affect me. We were claiming truth, yet treating members like criminals when they messed up. What happened to Grace? Shouldn’t God’s grace, paid for on the cross, be the foundation of Christianity?

I started attending a different denomination with similar beliefs. As my faith grew, I was moving all over the continent. I lived in Southern Georgia twice for 2 years each time, the Rocky Mountains of Alberta is where I grew up, and I lived there again between my times in Southern Georgia. Then I lived on Vancouver Island a couple times as well. My relationship with organized religion was just as unsettled as my physical location.

I attended a non-denominational church with a flatter hierarchy of leadership. We visited a couple evangelical churches, one didn’t take my son’s life threatening allergies seriously, the other was not exactly welcoming to us as a family. When we finally settled down in a permanent physical home, we found a church that has an amazing Sunday School for kids. All seemed well, we were making friends and getting involved in the community… until the pastor found out I’m spirit filled, and forbid me to pray in church because they believe being spirit filled is not for people today, so it must be of the devil.

We found a spirit filled church even closer to home, but they have no Sunday School class (our son is the only kid that attended regularly), but we kept going back because the people are so genuine and loving. I still had a lot of unrest in my soul though, and found their word of Faith beliefs a bit difficult to reconcile, and frankly it reminded me too much of the church I grew up, which is not a good thing.

Which brings me to where we are now. A few months ago we started doing Family Bible lessons in our own home. It’s very organic and natural. We pick a story or topic to study. We find a kid’s craft online for our son to do, and that’s about it.

A couple weeks ago I found a Bible Reading Plan that goes through all of the major Bible stories starting with Creation and working through the entire New Testament.

Our plan is that on Mondays my husband and I will start reading the scriptures that apply to the following Sunday’s lesson, marking any verses that speak to us specifically. Then closer to Sunday I will research a kid’s craft that goes along with the Bible story for our son, and compile all the supplies we need. On Sunday we will tell the story in our own words, my husband and I will share what we learned from the story and any verses that spoke to us, and we will have a discussion as a family. Then we’ll help our son with his craft.

I’d like to add a music and prayer component. I’m a very private person when it comes to prayer, and have rarely prayed out loud with other people listening. The church I grew up in prayed together out loud, but nobody was listening to each other, you were just talking directly to God, in one loud cacophony of worship. Or we would all kneel and find a private place to pray to God on our own. Every church I’ve attended since does public praying where one person prays and everyone else bows their head and listens. I don’t mind admitting that makes me incredibly uncomfortable, so I don’t pray when we’re together. I do pray for with my son every night at bedtime, but that feels different… I don’t really know how to handle this… Maybe just start with us finding a place to pray privately and see how that goes? I don’t know…

We don’t play any instruments, although I do read music and could painfully pick out songs on the piano with sheet music if I had to… One idea I’ve had though for music and singing together is to find some worship CDs, maybe a couple kid’s worship CDs as well, that we really like and have the words in the sleeve, type up the words for us to follow along, and then we pick a few songs we want to learn together each week. That way our son is learning to worship through singing, and we don’t have to worry about not having any backup music… When/If our group grows a bit, we can share the songs that we should know quite well by then, and if anyone plays an instrument, they can play along…

I’m open for other ideas, but I think Faith should be organic. Natural. An open loving relationship with God.

This week’s lesson is Abraham & Isaac if you want to follow along. The verses to read are Genesis chapters 12, 15, and 22. I will be posting my thoughts and lesson plan later.