Children with Food Issues

I have had ongoing food issues with my son since birth. He has a real aversion to a number of textures (soup, mushy, soft, pureed) and flavors (savory, spices, meats, vegetables, most fruits). When he was a baby he would gag till he threw up when I started trying to feed him cereal and baby food. He was exclusively breastfed (other than dry crackers, popcorn and tortilla chips) until he weaned at 2.5 years old.

In addition, when he was 1 years old he was diagnosed with many allergies. Wheat, corn, dairy, soy, all nuts, bananas and eggs. He outgrew the wheat and corn, but the dairy and peanut allergies are anaphylactic, and he still has a strong GI and skin reaction to the other four (tree nuts, soy, bananas and eggs).

We spent close to a year working with a child development therapist to overcome his eating issues. He’s 6.5 years old now, and eats a limited amount of food out of each food group. It drives other people (teachers, friends, family members) crazy that he won’t just eat what everyone else is eating, but early on I recognized it wasn’t something he could control, and decided to treat it like a disability, not unlike the way I would handle the situation if he was unable to walk on his own. I wouldn’t force him to use his own legs to walk if he wasn’t strong enough, and I’m not going to force him to eat food before he’s able to handle it.

I really don’t mean any disrespect to parents who are truly dealing with physical handicaps, but it really bothers me that non-visible disabilities, like food issues, are treated like the child is just being “difficult” and doesn’t really have a problem.

I thought I’d share what I do, cause I know there are other moms dealing with similar issues, and I know how lonely it can feel sometimes dealing with it on your own, especially when you don’t have much support.

I have a drawer full of easily accessed snacks that he’s welcome to anytime. I’m trying to teach him to listen to his hunger cues, so I rarely withhold food. The approved snacks are all healthy organic options, not crap, and ones I feel will fill in the gaps of what he’s not eating at meals. Some examples: apples, oranges, carrots, multi-grain crackers, fruit and veggie bars, corn tortilla chips, popcorn drizzled with raw coconut oil, etc…

We allow absolutely no sugar, except on the VERY rare occasion. I check food ingredients for the things he’s allergic too, and I’ve added sugar to the list of things I check for. He’s much more open to trying new foods when he doesn’t have the memory of sugary sweet foods.

I seriously restrict 100% fruit juice. I allow it less than once a month, or will allow a little orange juice if he’s fighting a cold. When he was a toddler I came to realize he was filling up on juice so he didn’t have room to eat food, and eliminating it made a HUGE difference. He drinks lots of water, which is better for him anyway.

At meal times I give him what I know he will usually eat, and then add one item that we’re “practicing” on. I hear parents getting their nose out of joint because they don’t want to be cooking separate meals. If that’s your stance, that’s your stance, but personally I’ve decided to recognize my child has a disability, and I have made the choice to happily make concessions to accommodate his issues and help him deal with it, without discrimination, and without taking it personally.

Lately we’ve been “practicing” him eating a little oatmeal at breakfast, and a little brown rice at dinner time. He has to try what I put on his plate, no matter how long it takes. Meal times sometimes stretch out for more than 2 hours, but I feel it’s SO important he’s practicing eating foods he has an aversion to (almost all foods!) that I usually allow him as much time as he needs to get around to it.You would be amazed at the number of foods he’s added to his “normal” diet by using this strategy.

There seems to be a natural progression when it comes to practicing new foods.

1. Sight and smell. He needs to see that it’s not as gross as he thinks. I put some on his plate, but he’s just looking at it and smelling it.
2. Touch. He touches it with his fingers, and gets a feel for the texture.
3. Taste. Next it’s on the spoon and held to his tongue so he gets a taste of it.
4. Chewing. This one may take weeks because texture seems to be the most challenging.
5. Swallowing. For a kid that has a severe gag reflux, as soon as we can get past the swallowing part, we’re 99% there!
6. Eating. We move to eating around 1 T a day until he’s eating it easily without complaint, and we slowly add a little more till he’s eating a normal serving of the food.

I hope this post helps someone out there who is frustrated beyond words, and I welcome discussion and questions.